dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
