Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
