No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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