i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
