Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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