Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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