omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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