btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
