YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
