so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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