I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
