that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
