We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
