Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
