Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
