the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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