evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
a search helicopter?!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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