The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
