yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
