Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize