We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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