Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think my moral compass just broke
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
