Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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