You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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