; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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