Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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