Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
