Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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