I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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