youre lurking in front of me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
