what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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