I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
