Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
