Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't think brook has ever known best
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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