i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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