Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
