Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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