i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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