Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
