Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
