is your mom at the bar?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
