i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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