I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
