erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
