all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
