Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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