I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
