so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
