remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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