I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
