i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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