Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
