At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
