That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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