How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
