I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
