Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize