Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
