So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So apparently I’m into choking now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
