How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
