I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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