Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I cannot find my penis.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
