I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
now i know why i became what i already was.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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